Worst 101 Sexual Perversions SeXStoRY

101. Assphilia:- The desire to put your Toungue on an ass Image. 100. Pyrophilia:- The burning desire to have sex with a partner who is on fire. Tip: lighter fluid works well and doesn't smell as bad as petrol. 99.5. Pyrocoprophilia:- The desire to take a shit on your partner and set the shit on fire. 99. Cropohilia:- Liking for rumpy pumpy in a field of corn. 98. Frodorism:- Lusting after a small person's ring. 97. Dwarfism:- Dressing up in silly pointed hats and wanking over a sl**ping person of the female type gender. 96. Autoerotisism:- Cars, lots and lots of cars... 95. Boothmania:- Trying to have sex in or somehow with a telephone booth 94. Agmalgatophilia:- Sexual attraction to very still mixtures of metals. 93. Paraphilia:- The love of having sex with members of her Majesty's Parachute Regiment. 92. Crush fetish:- getting turned on by pouring Fizzy orange drinks over people in a confined space. 91. Harpaxophilia:- getting aroused whilst watching Marx b*****rs films. 90. Thatcherism:- Getting turned on by the sight of ladies handbags 89. Wikipedism:- The sandbox's not just for testing, you know. 88. Uncyclophila:- This causes one to use Unyclopedia 24/7 and want to have sex with an admin 87. Kittenhuffillia:- The urge to have sex with kittens before you huff them 86. Liberphillia:- The Need to put your penis in books before you read them 85. Floppydiskism:- When the porn is just too good and you need more than your hand to satisfy yourself 84. Cddriveism:- As above but for the more up to date man 83. Clotrmogism:- The urge to turn your penis inside-out and use it as a vagina 82. Delicatestism:- The need to suck one's testicle juices through a silly straw 81. Phone Sex fetish:- The urge to have sex with a phone 80. Cyberphilia:- The need to have sexual intercourse with electronic devices 79. Negrophilia:- The need to exclusively have sex with black people 78. Eminemphilia:- The unexplainable urge to have sexual intercourse, while singing bad rap samples in synchronization. 77. Hentaiphilia:- The desire to have sex with any hot cartoon character you see 76. AIMphilia:- Also called OMG WTF SECKS!11, this is the need to have sex while shouting nonsensical Internet jargon, including yelling "LOL!" and "OMG I R SECKSING U." May cause hilarity. 75. Hemophilia:- The urge to have sex whilst slowly gutting your partner and letting the bl**d drip all over you 74. Jesuphilia:- The urge to have all sexual acts somehow involve a statue of the Virgin Mary. (Alternate: The unexplainable urge to have sex in a manger) 73. WoWphilia:- Urge to have sex with WoW, need they be more retarded? 72. Lewinskyphilia:- I did not have sexual relations with that woman, , ,only her mouth. 71. Powersuck-o-philia:- The desire to make love to a shop-vac. 70. Macrophilia:- The desire to make a simple key command for a task you can't be bothered to repeat over and over again. 69. "PaulManiacophilia" :- The unexplainable desire to . . .uhm . . 68. Slothophilia:- The desire to make slow movements (such as the robot) during intercourse. 67. Teddyophillia:- The desire to knock up your teddy bears or let one knock you up. (b********y!! You sick bastard!) 66. Philadelphilia:- The irresistible urge to have it on with a certain city (of otherwise undisputed reputation). 65. Tranvetiteaphilia:- The sexual urge to have sex with a transvestite under the freeway late at night whilst watching re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond. 64. Dig-Dugphilia:- The desire to don a jumpsuit and blow up your sexual partner with a bicycle pump. 63. Hulkphilia:- The desire to wear green make-up and get 'mad' with your partner. 62. Phillisteakphilia:- The desire to spread melted cheese on your hoagie rolls. 61. Hydrophilia:- The desire to make out with a glass of water. 60. Hygrophilia:- The desire to make out with a glass of drought. 59. Blockbusterphilia:- Wow! What a difference! 58. Paddyphilia:- The Overbearing desire to fornicate with potatoes. 57. Marxophilia:- The desire to have sex with everyone in world, each according to his/her needs. 56. Plushophilia 55. Frottage (Rubbing up against others on public transport) 54. Plate - Job:- masturbating under a glass coffee table while someone shits on it. 53. Furryphilla:- The desire to mate with people in fox suits. See Rednecks 52. AC/DC:- inserting an AC adapter's plug in your dick and plugging the adapter into a wall socket in hopes of a "surge splurge." 51. PISSGUMPHILLIA:- The desire to soak your dentures over night in urine... 50. Yoyohotophismillia:- The desire to come back to somehow who has genital herpes and then make a commercial about it. 49. Punchurcockophilia:- The extreme urge to hold your own erect penis down and masturbate by punching your genitals. 48. Book-Horniness:- The urge to have a massive orgy with thirty or more award winning books. 47. Contortaphilia:- To sex while playing twister. 46. Christianity'":- The desire to crucify one's DICK! 45. STD-Overload Desire:- The goal of obtaining all of the known STD's in existence. Gotta catch 'em all! Poke'Ma'John! 44. Inanimateobjectaphiliacitis:- A mental disorder in which the afflicted demands inanimate objects to take them right where they lie. 43. Weenie-Beaters Disease:- The condition in which one drops heavy objects on their genitalia until they pass out. 42. Universalphilia:- the desire to have sex with Anything, Something, and therefore, Everything. 41. Astrophilia:- The need to have sexual activity in a zero G environment. 40. Nucleophilia:- The desire to have sex with an atomic bomb. 39. Emophilia:- The desire to have sex with emos. 38. Kaiserwillheimophilia:- the desire to have sex with a German with a tiny arm. 37. Winnetwagonphilia:- The need to penetrate a person that is carrying winnets. 36. Laundryophilia:- The desire to have sex with laundry, fresh out of the dryer. 35. CardoAikmaphilia:- The desire (necessity) to have sex with a cardboard cutout of Troy Aikman while wearing a cowboy hat with matching boots and spurs. 34. TrinityPhilia:- The desire to show yo love for the father, son, and holy ghost. Or just to get freaky with Trinity Zamrzla, that dudes a b**st yo! 33. Speedophilia:- The desire to have sex at or with ludicrously high speeds. 32. Tartophilia:- The desire to have sex with warm pastries. 31. Shaggyshaggyphilia:- The desire to have sex with Vietnamese prostitutes. 30. Necroinsestphilia:- the desire to have sex with a dead relative. 29. Wookieephilia:- The need to have sex one a daily basis with either a Wookiee or a very large hairy women. 28. Xylophonophilia:- In which a person does the deed with an incredibly skinny woman whilst hammering her ribcage with sticks. 27. WetLaundryophilia:- The desire to have sex with wet laundry, fresh out of the washing machine. 26. Giedaophilia:- The desire to have sex with just who you think it is. 25. Hobophilia:- The desire to pleasure yourself with and in the company of a Hobo. 25. Crowleyophilia:-The urge to have sex with a black woman followed by sticking your dick down a meat grinder while orgasming. 24. Cainophilia:-The desire to indulge in self mutilation of genitalia whilst an elderly black woman defecates on one's chest, and John Cleese defibs one's testicles. 23. Senioraphilia:- The urge to have sex with someone who is three grade ahead of you. 22. squeezeaphilia:- The urge to have sex with anything that has a tiny hole. 21. Hoopophilia:- The urge to r**e the center on your high school's varsity guys basketball team even though you are a guy yourself. 20. Automotivephilia:- The need to have sex with your car, no matter when, where or how. 19. UnwashedLaundryophilia:- The desire to have sex with dirty unwashed laundry. Any guesses why the laundry needed to be washed in the first place? 18. Crossaphilia:- The desire to tackle the first person to win a high school cross country race and r**e them til they cry for their mommy. 17. Hockaphilia:- The urge to r**e any given person at any given time that is within the Hockomock area. 16. Trampaphillia:- The uncontrollable urge to have sex with, or on, a trampoline. 15. Asianophilia:- The desire to make all beings in sight; both human and a****l, Asianfied. 14. Stuffaphilia:- The urge to want to have sex with everything in sight 13. Audiophilia:- The desire to seek pleasure from the vibration of sound waves. 12. OscarWildeishphilia:- Attempting to imitate the "sexcapades" of Oscar Wilde. 11. Pedophilia:- The desire to have sex with feet. 10. Loliphilia:- The desire to have sex with small cartoon c***dren anytime you see them. 9. Technophilia:- The desire to have sex with a computer...or a nerd 8.Panphilia:- The desire to have sex with members of the genus Pan (chimpanzees, bonobos, and Peter) 7. Spedophilia:- The desire to have sex with someone of negligible mental capabilities. 6. s****raphilia:- The urge to have sex with your s****r 5. s****rophilia:- The urge to have sex with your s****r who just had a sex change. 4. Wikiphilia:- The desire to have sex with a Wikipedia contributor. 3. Homopuppetphilia:- A sexual attraction to gay puppets. WE wish the best to Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat. 2. Oldaphilia:- the need/ desire to bum a slow old person walking across the street. 1. Polpotophilia:- The desire to jerk off in front of 200,000+ dead people.