final impression SeXStoRY

i remember you......how could i forget you were my first in every way. my first boyfriend, my first kiss...my first time. the thing we had could have lasted forever. but like the weather things change, and beyond the clouds i see your true self. beyond your words and handsome features. i saw your true intentions! i was 18, i had lots of friend good grades a typical teenager. i was happy, but i was self concerned of myself my self esteem stopped me from doing lots of thing that others might enjoy. yes i was medium but i soon realized that girls twice (or more) my weight had boy friends. so what was wrong with me? one day in class i felt someone stoking my hair. i turned around quickly to see who did it. it was him. "you have soft hair i just had to touch it" he said kindly i didn't know what to say i was never complemented on my hair before. i turned around thanking god that I'm black so he couldn't see me blush! down the line we've seen more and more of each other. the way that i dressed, spoke, walk, every thing about me changed for him. i wanted him to like me. to see me in a different light. BUT LET ME MAKE THIS STORY SHORT. he didn't love me at all. he just wanted what he wanted. we would talk on the phone but we haven't seen each others faces for months. until he said it was over. we only had sex twice and the first time hurt like hell. my first sexual experience took its toll. i don't know what true pleasure is. to have a man really want me. i could love a man until the earth stood still. for so long i have pleasure myself to get a glimpse of what could have been. what would it be like? to wake up....to looking into his eyes and know that if i die at the moment that i would have no regrets at all. could there be such a thing in this world more precious. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sorry every one for being to mushy. it just how i feel! love to all.